Every once and awhile Hats likes to play a little game where she tries to guilt trip me into giving her more money. For some reason she thinks I have an abundance of it hidden somewhere. So, the other day I was riding to a wedding with Hats, Moneybags, and Chief when suddenly Hats says,

“Sally, I’m disappointed in you.”

Oh lord, she wants to play the game.

“Okay…um…why?”

“Because you did not bring me back any money from America. You should have brought me money because I want to build a new house.”

“I don’t have any money in America. How would I have brought you money?”

“You should have worked and made lots of money to give to me. That is what a good daughter would do. If I went to America for a month I would make lots of money so I could build a new house.”

“What? That’s not possible. No way you’re going to go to America for one month and make enough money to build a house. I don’t think you’d even make enough to pay for the plane ticket.”

“Ohhhhh Sally you lie. I know better than this. I have a friend who lives in America. She makes $5,000 a month.”

“Okay. Where does your friend work?”

“She works on a tomato farm.”

“Haha! There is no way she makes $5,000 a month working on a tomato farm. I don’t believe you.”

“It’s true! She works on the tomato farm and makes $5,000 a month. Because you do not love me I am going to go to America and work on the tomato farm for a month. I will make $5,000 and then I will come back and build my house.”

“Oookay. I wish you luck with that.”

“Yes I will get a passport and fly to America.”

“Yea, I’m thinking what your looking for is more of a cargo crate snuck onto a ship. You don’t need a passport for that.”

I believe I won that round. There’s no way that she’s going to convince me that’s true.

If people could make $5,000 a month picking tomatoes then we would not have immigrants working those farms. Instead they’d be filled with college grads and social workers.

At least now I know one reason people emigrate from Cambodia to America: Hats is spreading rumors that a simple tomato picker can make $60,000 a year. I’d move there too.

*Moneybags and Chief laughed through this whole conversation. They knew what was up.